


"Gang Of Homosexuals"

by robertstanion



Series: PEIPHQ Shenanigans [32]
Category: Hatchetfield Universe - Team StarKid
Genre: Autistic Character, Coming Out, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Fluff, Fluffy gays, M/M, dumb lesbians, johns gay kids, mcdonalds, walking in on
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 19:01:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29829459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robertstanion/pseuds/robertstanion
Summary: john and xander find out their kids are gay. that's it that's the fic enjoy
Relationships: Jasper McNamara-Lee/Adam Elway, Phoenix McNamara-Lee/Arielle Kelly, Xander Lee/John McNamara
Series: PEIPHQ Shenanigans [32]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1764349
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	"Gang Of Homosexuals"

**Author's Note:**

> JASPER AND PHOENIX ARE BACK BABY!! AND THIS TIME THEY HAVE PARTNERS!!!! BECAUSE THEY'RE GA Y AND IN L O V E

Overall, life was pretty great. John and Xander were pretty stable as much as two 53-year-old co-generals could be. They roamed the precinct freely, distributing missions and tasks when needed. Of course, Schaffer was their second in command, and then it was Louisiana Hartford and Benjamin Slate. The two of them came to a joint agreement that Lou, if anything happened to Schaffer, was the second-best person to run PEIP. With Benny by her side, John knew that they’d made the right decision.

Their family was doing good as well. With a bit of coercing, John landed Jasper a job at CCRP Technical while Phoenix had started up their own website, a blogging one, where they posted what they were proud of and everything about them. From the side-lines, John and Xander got to watch as their kids grew up. Soon enough, they weren’t 9 and 6. They were now 23 and 20; they couldn’t help wondering where they’d let time slip through their fingers. But, with family and growing up came a lot of romance. With the two out of school and starting their lives, John and Xander wouldn’t have been surprised if they had relationships of their own, but they weren’t showing any signs. It was either they truly weren’t in a relationship, or they were too good at keeping secrets…

* * *

Phoenix Kiara McNamara-Lee lay on their bed, girlfriend at her side. They had their arm resting underneath their head, their free arm wrapped around their girlfriend. She’d decided on some Netflix show she was into, and she’d cuddled into her neck. Phoenix hadn’t obliged. They’d finished their blog post and wanted to spend some time with their girlfriend. However, it was hard not to get distracted when the essence of beauty was lying against their side.

They looked down at her, watching as her smile grew, laughing at a joke that’d come up on the TV. They couldn’t help but smile as well. The real reason as to why their girlfriend was around to begin with was because Phoenix had been fairly unwell recently and she’d insisted on coming over now that they were better…or as well that medicine could make them. They had no problem resting with Arielle tucked into her side. They had no problem at all. They’d missed her, after all. They’d missed her more than words could say.

They caught Arielle’s eye, watching as she smirked. “McNamara, you’re staring again.”

“Let me,” Phoenix told her, kissing her nose gently, smiling when she squealed. She wasn’t a teenager anymore, neither of them were. Phoenix, as they could say, had lost their baby fat entirely. Their jawline was sharper, and they took on a sort of appearance that resembled John. Their eyes were brighter, and they also learned, with the assistance of Xander, how to take care of their hair. Dress wise, they weren’t frocks and heels anymore. They were more on the ‘I stole my dad’s motorbike and leather jacket’ side.

Arielle, however…Arielle was something completely different. Arielle Kelly, with thick red hair and freckles with naturally tanned skin had to be the prettiest woman Phoenix had ever had the pleasure of setting their eyes upon. Arielle was very much into blouses and dresses, and when she found out about the cottagecore lifestyle…that was all she’d ever needed in life. Hence, they became a couple where one rode a motorbike and the other baked an unnecessary amount of froggy bread.

But Arielle’s quip got Phoenix laughing. They pulled their girlfriend closer to them, kissing an area below her ear but not quite on her neck to distract her. They could practically feel Arielle’s blush on their own face. “How can I not take my eyes off of someone so beautiful? Especially you, baby.”

Arielle couldn’t help blushing more, trying to find safety and comfort in Phoenix’s neck. “And what is going to be the consequence, Mac, if I pursue my intentions?”

“Then…I guess I’m just gonna have to…” Phoenix, grabbing the opportunity by the collar, turned up the volume on the TV. They kissed Arielle, removing the zip up hoodie they often wore to bed. It was a gift that their fathers had gotten them for a birthday one year, and, to their surprise, they loved it. They moved on top of Arielle, smiling against her lips, dropping the hoodie to the floor. They pulled away, looking at her. “This _is_ okay, right?”

“Okay has never come sooner, Pen.”

Phoenix allowed themself to smile as they returned back to kissing Arielle, their hand running under her shirt. They began to plant soft, featherlight kisses on Arielle’s skin, careless as to what else was going on around them. Though the two of them hadn’t exactly been together for too long, it was long enough for them to feel comfortable in such a manner. They no longer needed to hide. They could conquer the world…as soon as Phoenix told their dads. They smiled gently as Arielle moved, pulling away so she could get her shirt off. “A little impatient, don’t ya think, darlin’?”

“Oh, don’t tell me that! It’s been about a month since I last saw you! I even dressed nice for you!” Arielle pouted, crossing her arms over her chest, only for them to be slowly moved above her head where Phoenix held them in place. “Oh my God, you’re hot.”

“I should hope you think that. I’m your partner.” Phoenix took their position of having full reign over their girlfriend, holding her wrists in one hand, placing their other hand on her waist. They immediately took to kissing all the sweet spots Arielle had along her shoulders, neck and collarbones, determined to leave a mark wherever they could. They wanted proof Arielle was theirs for the time being. They needed physical evidence.

At Arielle’s soft little groans of astonishment, Phoenix began speeding up their acts a lot quicker than what they’d originally anticipated. They couldn’t stand to hear her sound so so gorgeous without being able to do anything about it. And, much like anything that they’d done before, kisses deepened. They liked to take it slow, to savour the moment, as did she, and so, they did that.

Well, for the most part. Until the door opened, and Phoenix screamed, scrambling under the covers. Soon, it wasn’t just them screaming, but John as well. In shock, John McNamara stood at the door, unable to break eye contact with his kid. He already knew the situation. He’d be damned if he said he couldn’t see himself and Xander in the two. “What the fuck?!” Upon piecing a sentence together, he covered his eyes with his arm, shutting them tightly.

“I’ve told you to knock!” They said, holding the sheets over themself, an arm over Arielle’s face to stop John from getting a good look at their girlfriend.

“I’ve been knocking for thirty seconds, saying your name and knocking for twenty!” His eyes remained squeezed shut, face red, waiting for a cue.

“Dad, _what do you want?_ I’m _busy!”_ Phoenix ended up hissing, which prompted John to nod.

“We’re going to McDonalds for dinner. If your friend who happens to be a girl and also naked in your bed wants to come along as well, I won’t embarrass you-“

“Dad!”

“Okay, I’m gonna tell Jasper now!” John shut the door, quickly rushing to Jasper’s room.

Phoenix rolled their eyes, looking at Arielle, who, quietly said “I could really kill for chicken nuggets right now…” and all of a sudden, things were back to normal again.

* * *

Jasper had been in his room. It was his day off from the office, and therefore, he decided to start working back on some of his old works in progress. The majority of them had characters inspired by family, but his most recent one was personal. It was, essentially, about himself and his boyfriend, Adam. He’d met Adam in school, and he had fallen in love with him pretty much instantly. Adam had been one of his only friends, and they shared their first kiss behind the bike sheds at school where they often spent breaks and lunches together. He’d been so kind, so gentle. He still was.

He had his headphones in, humming to some song on his playlist that he’d created when, from the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of a silhouette appearing at his window. Moments later, the window had opened, and a figure wearing a beanie clambered in. The curtains opened, and there, shutting the window, was the love of his life. At the sight of him, Jasper squeaked happily and took his headphones off, hitting his fists together as a way of stimming to show he was very excited. Though he could speak, he chose not to most of the time. He liked his quiet lifestyle.

Adam looked at him and smiled wide, shutting the curtains, rushing over to his boyfriend, wrapping his arms around him tightly, attacking his face in kisses which made him giggle. “I missed you. I thought I’d come surprise you.” He glanced over to Jasper’s laptop, smiling gently. “And my incredible boyfriend is working on his incredible piece of literature. That’s my boy.” Jasper smiled again, wider the second time, climbing into Adam’s lap, hugging him tight. Adam looked down to him, kissing his hair. “Hey. It’s alright. I’m here, and you’re okay.” It was a reminder they often went through. It helped to ground Jasper, to keep him sane.

Jasper looked up at Adam with his big, brown eyes, chirping before burying back into his neck. Adam laughed softly, taking his beanie off, placing it on the bed beside him. He leaned his back against the wall, placing another kiss on Jasper’s forehead. “It was convenient you actually messaged me, baby. I was on my way over and you asked me if I wanted to join you for a McDonalds. How considerate of you.”

Jasper mumbled again, a few incoherent noises that, for those who understood Jasper, knew he was saying ‘ _I love you.’_ Adam smiled again, nuzzling Adam’s cheek with his nose. “I love you too, bunny.” He ran a hand through his thick brown hair, placing the beanie on Jasper’s head. “You’re cute.”

“No, you.” Jasper managed to squeak out. Even if he didn’t speak much, his voice still, somehow, remained, in a way, elegant. His voice was smooth with no bitterness to it. He had a lot that he could be angry at, a lot that he could choose to fight people over, but he stuck to what he knew and that was keeping peace. That was what he enjoyed – being quiet, his office job and his family.

Adam laughed softly and checked the time, kissing Jasper softly. “Alright bubs. I’m gonna go, and I’ll meet you at McDonalds okay? If you want to tell your dads about us tonight, great, we can do that. If you don’t, they still know me as your friend. So, I can be your friend. Even if it’ll be _really_ hard.” He squeezed Jasper gently which got him to giggle again. Jasper finalised their deal with a soft kiss which allowed Adam to let him go and escape back out the window just as Xander knocked. Jasper, placing his laptop back on his lap, hummed to let his father know he could come in.

Xander opened the door, looking at his son, smiling gently. “You ready to go, Jaz?”

Jasper nodded, saving his work, closing the lid of his laptop, standing up, adjusting the beanie on his head, catching Xander’s attention.

“I didn’t realise you had a beanie?” Xander asked, watching as Jasper shrugged. Xander mimicked his son’s movement and together they walked downstairs where Phoenix sat, unusually quiet, beside another girl. Curiously, Jasper tilted his head, to which they glared at him.

“Don’t. Ask.” They told him, to which Jasper nodded. “Wait, why the fuck do you have a beanie?”

“Are we the only ones to see a guy climb up through Jasper’s window _with_ a beanie on, only to then climb back out without one?” Lou, who was also at their house, furrowed her eyebrows, turning to her co-worker and friend for a second view. “Benny, I’m not going insane.”

“My dearest Lou, no you’re not. A young boy definitely climbed in through Jasper’s window.”

There was silence around the room before John stood up and pointed at Jasper. “You have a _boyfriend!?”_

“Oh my god, here we go…” Phoenix placed their head in their hands, Arielle sympathetically patting their back.

“John don’t jump to conclusions-“ Xander stood, placing his hand on John’s shoulder, but considering Jasper’s face had broken out into a grin, they didn’t need any further questions to ask.

“All my kids are gay! Xander! We have a bunch of homosexual kids!”

“We do have a gang of homosexuals.”

“Dad, _never_ say ‘gang’ again,” Phoenix told Xander, glaring softly at him.

Xander laughed, looking to Jasper, and then back to Phoenix. “I hope you realise we’re proud of you. I’m speaking on behalf of John as well. He’s having a crisis.” From the other side of the room, a whistle occurred to which Xander looked over and smiled. “And we’re proud of the original homosexual children as well!”

“Thank you very much, General Lee, I bow to you.” Lou said with a smirk as she bowed down to Xander, getting slapped over the head by Benny. “Okay, what was that for?”

“I felt like it.” Benny shrugged, placing his hands in his pockets before looking back to John. “Okay, can we get McDonalds now?”

**Author's Note:**

> i want a maccies anyways bing bang bong sing sang song ding dang dong uk hun it's milfday on friday and i am so upset it's the final day of wandavision but then falcon and the winter soldier starts at least i think that's what it's called anyways have a gay day/pos/gen


End file.
